Making the right first impressions on women

How do you make the right impressions when you meet a woman? Ever blown your chances after meeting someone you find attractive? It’s all too easy to do (so we’ve heard from other blokes…none of the team in our office has any trouble pulling, apparently).

MannedUp’s relationships expert, Elizabeth Clark, suggests that a woman’s best friend can be key to making the right impression during an initial meeting.

The scenario – the women

Alexia and Rebecca are really good friends. They see each other at least once a week. They drink cocktails, go travelling and absolutely love sushi.

Rebecca is the kind of girl who knows every event in the city and has a wide circle of party friends while Alexia prefers to be invited to them. Together they make a great team and are the best of friends. Either would be a great catch for a guy.

Wearing your beer goggles? Focus on the female, dummy!

Wearing your beer goggles? Focus on the female, dummy!

An evening at a barbecue

On a summer evening, not too long ago, Alexia and Rebecca found themselves at a barbecue.

The atmosphere was relaxed and the sun was just about to set, casting a warm hue on the grass. There was a selection of cocktails, mellow folk-rock music played and the smell of chargrilled steak filled the air.

A good looking fella walked over to the girls, introduced himself and started chatting. After asking questions addressed to the both—about where they were from and the usual stuff—he gradually focused on Alexia.

Eventually his questions became statements.

“You are beautiful, you know that?” he uttered.

“I think you and I could get to know each other better if we go for dinner,” was another of his lines.

Knowing when a woman is interested

Alexia wasn’t very impressed but she didn’t mind being called beautiful. She answered his statements by laughing.

He carried on questioning her but revealed nothing of himself.

In the meantime, Rebecca, in a slightly tipsy state, thought she should make an effort to chat with the man who had eyes for one of her best friends.

When Alexia went to the bathroom Rebecca plopped herself next to the guy and gave him her friendliest “hello”

He looked at her and replied unenthusiastically with a “hi” before crossing his arms and pulling his legs towards him.

Watching a woman’s body language

Rebecca assumed he felt uncomfortable and so started to talk about random matters, throwing in the odd joke to try get him to relax.

After a couple of minutes he said coldly, “I am not interested in you. Can’t you tell from my body language? I know your type. You are only good for one thing. I would much rather be talking to her,” he said, gesturing towards Alexia, who was walking back from the bathroom.

Treat women well. The only thing that should be cold is your beer.

Treat women well. The only thing that should be cold is your beer.

Don’t insult her mate, dummy!

Rebecca was in shock. She wore a look that said “I’m gonna slap you in the face.”

Then she looked at Alexia and they understood each other without saying a word.

The fella no longer stood a chance with Alexia.

I think this story reveals three key lessons:

  • Firstly, being asked 101 questions isn’t always fun. Initial meetings are about give and take, supplying as well as gleaning information. Being overly mysterious can work against you.
  • Making statements about a girl’s beauty or about wanting to see her again usually works after she knows something about you, and is interested to know more. Too much mystery can be irritating, guys.
  • Importantly, if you want to get the girl, never insult her best friend. Best mates act like gatekeepers and making a bad impression can sink your chances.

About the author

Elizabeth Clark is a South African writer based in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. She also writes on travel and fashion.

No matter how good the beer tastes, focus on the woman.

No matter how good the beer tastes, focus on the woman.

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